In Order of the King
by Youkai Of Hearts
Summary: The young mage never considered himself the victor and he defiantly did not want his friend Alistair to die by Loghain's hands or by the Arch Demon yet when he was asked to kill Loghain, he did it by the King's command brotherlyAlisM!Sura Zevran!MSura


_In Order of the King_

_The young mage never considered himself the victor, he never wanted to take the throne and he defiantly did not want his friend Alistair to die by Loghain's hands or by the Arch Demon yet when he was asked to kill Loghain, he did it by the King's command even though he was killing himself_

Yuven looked down on the once famous general, his mind was still in a state of shock and he found his hand shaking with the giant blade he found in his hand. He didn't want to do this; he actually considered making him a Grey Warden along with another companion in arms.

Yet here he is blade in hand and his eyes looking down on Loghain horrified on what he was being asked no what he was being _ordered_ to do by his king.

He remembered how all this happened, they were in the Landsmeet, then they broke out in a fight, a revered mother stopped the fighting and they were asked to do a dual. He noticed that Alistair was going to volunteer but he himself did it without giving his friend the chance.

They fought and Loghain was a difficult opponent, even harder since Yuven was asked not to use magic so he did so since it wouldn't have been a _fair fight_. Yuven did so by demonstrating techniques that Zevran taught him and by his shock he prevailed if he did almost get himself decapitated in the process.

There was a silence in the chambers and Loghain commended him, saying he underestimated and thought that Yuven would've been helpless without using any magic, he even compared the young mage to King Maric, Alistair's father and thus he surrendered.

Yuven accepted the surrender but Alistair was not as forgiving, he snapped at Yuven telling him to kill Loghain for what he did and that's when Riordan appeared, asking Yuven to consider making Loghain a Grey Warden.

Alistair snapped at Yuven and then demanded that his leader kill him, Yuven at first wasn't really considering killing Loghain in fact he was going to let him join until Alistair looked at Yuven straight in the eyes and said to him

'_I demand that you kill this man as King of Fereldin Yuven'_

Those words were probably what hit Yuven the hardest, Loghain wasn't going to resist, he surrendered there was no need to kill, Yuven thought there was no need or honour to kill Loghain but he said it as King of Fereldin and therefore as a Grey Warden and a citizen of Fereldin, Yuven reluctantly obeyed, a blade being shoved into his hands and now he stood there, looking down on Loghain who was waiting for death.

He found himself shaking, hesitating, his skin coated in sweat as he felt his stomach churning slightly, slowly he raised the blade above his head and looked down on the once _glorious_ general, Yuven found his hands tremble and shake.

Wynne and Zevran watched, both of them worried about whether their leader would be able to go through with it. Zevran was going to step forward but Alistair placed a hand in front of the elf telling him _don't_.

Yuven was scared, he was about to kill a man that once served Fereldin but then again he left the former king, Cailen to die, Yuven just felt so confused and scared he didn't know what to do.

"You need not show mercy for me" Yuven heard Loghain, his green eyes wide open as the old man looked up at him "If you are really a solider, a Grey Warden then you will obey your King" Yuven looked down on Loghain, he just seemed at peace with himself and he was waiting for death "**It is your duty**"

Yuven still shock and then closed his eyes as he swayed the blade down upon the general hearing the sounds of metal meeting flesh and when the mage opened his eyes he saw the general on the ground, dead.

Anora screamed and cried as she ran to her father's corpse, looking up at you with her amber eyes, hatred flaring like a fire as she held his body in her arms. Yuven looked at Anora and Loghain, he felt something in him die and when he looked at his blade he remembered Jowan using blood magic and killing those men.

Zevran walked towards Yuven, the older elf looked down and saw that his leader's hand was still shaking; he slowly took the blade out of Yuven's hand and tossed the sword at the ground.

Alistair looked at his friend, an empty feeling filling him up, he thought he would feel joy or relief when he saw that sword cut through Loghain yet there was a feeling of anguish and sadness toiling in him.

After that, Alistair made a speech and at the beginning it sounded horrible until Yuven said to him _'Just tell them what to do'_ and after that Alistair found the right words and actually looked like a king commanding his subjects. While the cheers could be heard Alistair could not help but look back at Yuven, seeing that his friend's eyes looked lifeless and how Zevran was holding on to his hand.

And at that moment, Alistair felt like someone other than Loghain had died.

A day later Alistair went in to Yuven's room and surely gave him a mouthful, Yuven just continued to look down on his shoes and when Alistair was finished he saw Yuven look up at him and was surprised that there was no smile, no jokes or anything and simply said _'Congratulations'_, a moment of anger filled Alistair's voice as he roared and yelled at him but then calmed his anger and said to him:

'_If I'm King at least let me know if __**you**__ would be there to help me'_

In return Yuven nodded _'Yes, I will always be there when you call, your Majesty'_

At that time something had truly been lost and at the time Alistair did not think much of it.

A week later that night when they arrived at Redcliffe castle, Yuven or Alistair spoke not a word to each other and that made everyone in their group awkward. Wynne told Yuven why not have a bath to clear his head and the elf did not argue with that suggestion. Everyone else separated so that they can relax, they needed it from everything that happened.

Alistair made his way to his room until he walked into Zevran, the elf looked at him with his amber eyes and Alistair could tell that the Assassin was all business now.

"My friend can we talk?" he said to the now appointed king of Fereldin and Alistair could only think that this was not going to be good. He knew that his fellow Warden and the Assassin were lovers but didn't know how far they went. "It is rather important"

Alistair sighed and nodded, opening the door to his room and the two of them quietly entered, he turned round and locked the door and once he turned he found Zevran leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest.

"What is it Zevran?" Alistair queried to which the assassin said nothing, probably choosing what words to say.

"Well my friend, it is something regarding your fellow Grey Warden and what transpired at the Landsmeet" Alistair found himself mentally growling at this yet he should've known that this was going to appear sooner or later. "It's just he hasn't been the same since he killed Loghain"

"The bastard got what he deserved" the king interrupted and Zevran was taken aback

"Yuven should feel no regret for that murderer"

Zevran looked down, for some reason there was a look of pity on those eyes "Can we really say that when we've killed people as well?" The Antivan said and for a moment Alistair's mind paused on the thought.

"That was different" yet there was this ebbing pain in his chest that told him that it wasn't different.

"Is it really?" there was silence, the only sound that could be heard was a flicker of a candle "That was a cruel thing you did" Zevran closed his eyes as if he was pained, like a stab through the heart, yet there was no such injury on his being "You showed cruelty where Yuven showed mercy"

"He has nothing to feel sorry about! Loghain killed innocents!"

"But so have I" Alistair stopped and found that he walked into a landmine "Yet Yuven showed me mercy when **I **welcomed death! I took the job of hunting down the Grey Warden's because I was expecting **death!**" The Warden gasped, this was the first time he heard of this

"Zevran, you mean you-"

Zevran pushed himself off the wall and walked up to Alistair, grabbing the collar of the King's robes and snapped, Alistair saw the tears, saw the pain and the anger "I killed a woman I once loved and thought was a traitor only to realise she was **innocent**! I left Antiva to **die!** And yet I was shown kindness and mercy by a total stranger!"

Alistair stared at the elf that wept in front of him, his fists trembling and his hair covering his tear soaked eyes "He showed me mercy, he showed his enemies mercy, he showed the elves in the Alienage mercy and the Tervinter Imperium he showed _everyone_ mercy no matter their past and motives even almost killing himself in the process!"

The elf withdrew his hand from the king and yelled "Yet when it came to us, to you! He just didn't want you to suffer or hurt! He considered and looked up to you as a brother and you betrayed him!"

_He_ betrayed Yuven? "But didn't Yuven betray me?" Zevran looked up at Alistair and saw the anger "He put me in a position that _**I **_did not want! He made a decision that disregarded my feelings! He did it for himself!"

_**Slap**_

Alistair froze, his cheek felt like it was on fire, he slowly turned his head and realised that he had just been slapped.

"If he **truly** did it for himself, then **he** would be on the throne and not you! You travelled with him all this time! Yet you don't know anything! You know nothing about him! If you did then you would know that your fellow Warden, the one you call 'your **brother** in arms!' did it with you in mind!" _Did it with him in mind? Who was he fooling?_ Alistair thought venomously.

"He did, did he! Then why did he make me king! Why did he choose someone who had no interest in the throne and not someone who had more experience? Why me and not Anora! Huh? Tell me that Zevran!"

"Because he wanted to protect you!"

_To protect him?_ Alistair was confused at first "To protect me? From what?"

"From the life of a Grey Warden, for you to be happy or something like that, he's a hopeless romantic"

_To be happy?_

"He thinks making me king would make me happy?" Alistair found himself chuckle but not to disrespect Yuven "He thinks making me King would protect me from harms way?" Alistair burst into a pathetic laugh as he sat himself on his bed, a hand running through his hair, eyes closed at the thought "Yes that sounds like him, that sounds like Yuven Surana a lot"

"He always wanted everyone to be happy; even if it makes him suffer" Zevran added "You have no idea how lucky you are that he thinks of you so much like this"

Alistair looked at Zevran with a light smile on his lips "But he loves you more"

During that night, Alistair made his way to Yuven's room, he saw that the dog was sitting outside the door and growled when Alistair made his approach. It was like the dog actually _knew_ what was happening.

"Hello there boy" Alistair said only to have the dog snarl at him "I suppose you won't move aside so I have this" Alistair brought out a sausage from his robe and waved it in front of the dog, the dog whimpered and Alistair tossed it down the hall watching the mutt chase after it and when the dog was out of sight slipped into Yuven's room and closed the door behind him.

What greeted Alistair when he went in was Yuven sitting on the edge of his bed, his eyes looking down at a sword that was laced in his hands, Alistair gasped as he remembered the sword and that was the one the elf elder gave them from the Alienage.

"Duncan's sword?" he whispered, the young elf did not budge as he sat there, glazed green eyes staring at the sword.

Alistair slowly made his way forward, his feet walking through the red velvet carpet "Yuven" the elf did not respond it was as if his mind was wondering into another place, he hoped it didn't enter the fade but then that was impossible. Alistair stopped right in front of the mage "Yuven?"

The young man snapped and looked up at Alistair, he placed the sword on his bed and rose to his feet, kneeling down on the floor with his hair hung over his shoulders.

"Good evening your majesty" he whispered and it shocked Alistair as his eyes widened at the title, he mentally growled at what Yuven called him. "How can I help you?"

"Get off the ground" Alistair commanded, Yuven did not for a moment "Stand up" Yuven slowly rose to his feet but his head remained downward. What awaited the two was a deafening silence, the sounds of the people in the village cheered and the sounds of Leliana's song made its way through the window.

"Yuven"

"Yes your Majest-"

"**Don't call me that!**" a even more awkward silence came and all the while as they stood Yuven began to tremble again, he shock violently, like he was scared?

"I'm sorry" he whispered

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Alistair looked at him, he just looked so small now, with the armour off and his bow and arrows sitting in the corner of the room, he just looked like any normal elf. "You've done nothing wrong"

"I've caused everyone a lot of trouble, a lot of pain" he whimpered, his hands covering his face as to not let the tears fall. "I-I've, I've done horrible things, I ended up hurting everyone"

"But you haven't done that, you've helped a lot of people" Alistair knew how many people they've helped, when they rescued their allies, the elves, the dwarves and the mages, they've helped so many lives. "You've saved so many lives"

Yuven looked up at Alistair, his eyes still dazed and empty as if his soul was sucked out of him "Then why does it feel like I'm dead inside?"

Something inside the Templar told him that this just wasn't something that came a week ago, it sounded like that it had been festering inside his fellow Grey Warden for a while now "Yuven what's really been going on, you can't be like this just after killing Loghain" he thinks that killing the general was the trigger.

"Three months, no I guess it was four" Yuven mumbled, turning his eyes away and stared out the window "The nightmares" the elf mumbled and it was this that Alistair caught on to what was going on "The nightmares have been more frequent but it was always the same" the elf looked out the window and saw the mountains "The Dragon would appear in front of me, taking on many shapes and many faces"

Alistair knew of the nightmare, he had them "It would taunt me in saying I'm making everyone suffer and told me that I would kill Loghain with my own hands and then told me that I would become an abomination" but they were never like that "I didn't want to believe it, I know he was our enemy but I can't be cruel, I can't just kill someone! I can't I just can't! Not for revenge!"

_Not for revenge_

"You know it's because of that quality that we all worry about you" Alistair slowly stretched his arms and wrapped them around his friend and pulled him away from the window "Showing compassion to others when they don't give it to you in return" he felt his leader trying to resist the hug but then buried his head into Alistair's chest. "Even when they hurt you, even when they show no loyalties, even if they tried and kill you, you still showed mercy"

He heard Yuven sniffle and felt his robes getting wet from the tears "Not even asking for a reward and want nothing in return, you're not a Martyr for a cause. You're a Mage and a Grey Warden" Alistair settled his chin onto Yuven's head and ran a hand through his red hair "And you're my brother, a brother I admire and look up too, someone who showed compassion and mercy to someone like Loghain where I show cruelty"

Slowly he felt Yuven falling apart in his arms, as the small mage fell, he fell with him until they were both on the floor, Alistair still holding onto Yuven as he petted the man's red hair down.

"And I'm sorry I forced you to kill someone because of my cruelty, I envy someone who can forgive people like Loghain but I still can't understand why you made someone like me king nor can I forgive" Alistair could hear Yuven's soft whimpers "I understand that you want to protect everyone but you need someone to stand there for you, to tell you to _stop_ suffering alone" Alistair placed his hands onto the sides of Yuven's head and placed his forehead on his _brother_ in arm's. "After this is over and when I become King I want you to do me a favour, can you do me a favour brother?"

He could feel Yuven nodding between his hands and then said to him softly "I want you to help me keep Fereldin safe and also while I'm at it, open up to Zevran he's worried about you, okay?"

Alistair heard a small noise and didn't know whether Yuven said something or it was the birds that twittered but he felt the trembling subsiding and after awhile Zevran came into the room, Yuven jumped at the noise, lifting his head, rose to his feet and slowly walked over to the Assassin. Zevran gave out a hand, wanting to hold his lover's but instead was startled when the warden threw himself at him, hugging Zevran as he cried _'I'm sorry'_ over and over gain.

Zevran looked at Alistair, smiled gently and after a while Alistair stood and smiled back.

_End_

_**Author's note:**_

I don't know why but I think I made it _way _too dramatic and some of the things in this fic didn't make sense. What did you think?


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